Thank you for everything..
Thank you for every happy moments that we’ve been through together..
Thank you for every laugh you gave me..
Thank you for every sad memories we’ve shared together..
Thank you for every tears you made me..
Thank you for being the part of my past memories..
Thank you for making both of us to move on for a better life in our own ways..
most of all..
Thank you for being my FRIEND..
till today..
and for tomorrow.. ALL THE BEST FOR US..
SAYONARA~~
Some are better left untold.. or unreveal..
I always said that it’s better to know the truths.. even though it is painful.. but really~~ TRUTH IS SUCK!!!
Thanks to my stupid curiosity.. now i’m overwhelmed with my own stupid sensitivity.. try to understand exactly what was goin on..
It happened yesterday.. when some silly idea came up in my mind and made me went through all my friends list in the Facebook.. that’s when i realized..
“eh!!! how come she’s not there??”
then I tried to cross checked.. and when I opened her profile.. it’s showed this sentence..
ADD 1 FRIEND.. beside her name..
well.. surprise surprise.. i wonder~~ how come??!! I’ve added her like from the first time i started to use FB and now she’s apparently not one of my friend anymore??
I don’t know how this thing could happen but..
bad possibilities crossed my mind at once *can’t help myself not to think that way*
1. Maybe there’s an error in Facebook *which seems to be the last thing that could happen >.<*
2. Accidently.. my name was removed from her friends list *yeah like it can happen!!!*
3. She purposely removed my name.. *not only from her friends list.. but also from her mind whatsoever*
and many other possibilities I could think of.. but yeah.. all lead me to one conclusion..
SHE DOESN’T WANT TO BE MY FRIEND AGAIN!!!
why I said like that?
simple.. coz when I found out what happened.. I simply added her again and asked her
“how come we are not friend anymore at FB?”
and she replied me.. “somehow.. maybe we are not yet?”
honestly.. I’m puzzled with her answer.. but what can I say? she even didn’t accept my “friend request” until now~~ so.. is this the sign??
is this really the end of our friendship???
Mollayo~~ I really don’t know.. no matter how much I want to fix our problems.. but if she won’t let that happen~~~
I’m just hoping that it’s me who over too sensitive.. that this was just a misunderstanding.. but no matter how hard I try to use my logic.. this time.. it’s my ego and my heart whom always win~~
Should I confront her AGAIN??? make the first move AGAIN??
well.. maybe it’s not always me who made the first move to deal with ours.. but for all I know.. it’s me who always confronted her directly.. since it’s my nature to talk directly~~ unlike her.. who prefer to deal indirectly..
that’s I know~~ and I tried to use her preference so she could at least be more comfortable to talk about it.. but then again.. it won’t work twice..
and I’m tired~~
can someone just give me some Fliegenpilz???
ok!! my third.. enjoy it ^o^
author’s note: this is based on MY daily routine hahahahaha.. just change the characters =P
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It was exactly 7pm when I reached the dorm.. and all of the sudden..
“Kyu-ah~~ you’re home!!!” and he jumped *literally* on me.. made me almost fell on my back and lose my breath..
“Will you play with me?? You’re goin to play with me right?? Right right??!!” he kept showering me with his words and his puppy eyes.. forgot that I just barely got home..
*sigh* “Hyung~~ I just got home.. will you let me go first so I can breath?? You make me suffocated” as I said to him with plain voice of mine..
“But.. but.. I want to play~~ I’m bored” so he said as he made a pout with his tempting lips *did I say tempting??!!! what??!!! I must have been lacked of oxygen now!!*
“But I’m tired hyung~~“
“You don’t want to play with me? Why you don’t want to play with me? Why no one wants to play with me? I don’t have anyone to play with!! Who am I supposed to play with? Why you don’t want to play with me??….” and he kept talking.. on and on.. with the cute pout on his face.. made my head started to feel some headache..
“Ok ok ok.. but let me just put on my things and change clothes first hyung~~” I rushly went to my bedroom to avoid another gibbering and especially the pouting that suddenly made my eyes won’t go away from those lips..
when I felt the sudden silence behind me.. I knew he was started goin to cry..
“I promise.. Just give me a minute.. OK donghae-ah~~??” I spoke to him as I turned my face to face him and gave him an assuring smile.. and with that.. I had my prize by receiving his widest grin on his face that reflected as well in his eyes..
after a minute.. or so..
“You’re done!! OK let’s play!! I want to play baseball!!“
“Hyung~~ there’s no field in here.. you can’t play baseball inside the dorm“
“But I want to play.. I want to play baseball~~” and you pouted.. again..
I pinched my temple.. tried to reduce the headache that became much more intense each minute..
“How about play throw and catch the ball? It’s almost the same right? and we can do it inside“
“But I want baseball.. why I can’t play baseball??” you kept mumbling and tears started to form at the corner of your puppy eyes.. made me wonder.. who exactly is the hyung??? why I had the feeling like talking to a 3 years old boy??
“Hyung~~ you could break everything in this dorm if you play baseball.. you don’t want to make Eeteuk-hyung sad right?? You know what Kangin-hyung will do~~” I tried to reason him.. and it worked.. apparently Kangin’s name gave him quite a horror since you can tell by the look on his face.. well.. who doesn’t??
then.. he became quite.. probably thinking on what to do.. probably.. since Donghae rarely think~~ after less then 5 seconds..
“OK then.. let’s play ball!!!” just like i thought..
“alright~~” I sighed and took a deep breath.. and played along..
and the next day..
It was exactly 7pm when I reached the dorm.. and all of the sudden..
“Kyu-ah~~ you’re home!!! Will you play with me?? You’re goin to play with me right?? Right right??!!”
Oh no!! here we go again~~
this has been happen for like.. everyday!! I wonder when he will get bored..
“Hyung~~ aren’t you bored playing with me with the same thing all the time??“
for a moment he silenced.. seemed like thinking.. and then.. “Of course not!!” with a big smile on his face..
“Why??” I insisted to know the reason that made me always had a late dinner..
“Because I’m with you!!” he said with full smile and bright eyes that looked straight at me.. made me suddenly stunned by his words and his gaze..
.. and.. now I know the reason why I let myself being dragged by him every night by his childish pleas..
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so how? hahahahaha.. yup this is based on my own experience.. living with 3 and 2 years old babies ^^; they can be cute but at the same time can be very annoying =P but still.. loved them anyway hehehehehe..
comments please.. my first time try to make a cheerful one hahahahahaha
Just be yourself!!
well.. that’s one line that i bet we often heard right??? when things get toughed.. when everyone started to ask from us something that we are not~~
that’s also my line that i usually used when i advised whoever who needed and wanted to hear..
but.. the thing is..
no matter how often i kept repeating this words.. i’m never truly be able to do it myself.. such a hypocryte i am~~
why i can’t do that???
coz.. uptil now~~ i’m struggling with myself.. struggling to find my ownself.. if you ask me to describe myself.. well all i can say was just what people previously had told me about what they thought of me.. like for examples.. i’m a ambitious girl.. with sharp-edge tongue =P hot-tempered.. quite mature.. and so on.. i bet you could tell a lot more compare to me..
coz those characterizations came from people who involved with me for quite a long time so i take that as a true me.. as ME.. but.. if i think again myself.. well still cannot find a way to describe myself..
maybe i’m a dreamer.. but sometimes i’m too realistic too.. maybe i’m too brave.. but sometimes i can be a chicken too.. impatient.. but for some reason i can wait long enough~~ hot blooded but can easily shed a tear too..
too many contradiction in me.. maybe coz i’m a gemini?? ^^; nevertheless.. i still want to know who i am.. why i’m here.. what does my existance means.. what is my path..
so.. it is easy to say.. be yourself.. the truth is.. it is not as easy as to say.. at least for me.. i think that’s one of the reason too why i like to take some silly quizzes about “your personality”.. see if i can grab something about me.. to make me more understand about myself~~
from outer appearance.. i don’t think i also have any special traits or whatsoever.. if people said i’m creative.. well.. they’re wrong.. i’m never be the creative one.. i always be the plagiator one.. or so i think..
like when i had any art tasks during my school time.. i never made something that came from my own imagination.. i can made something always after i copied something then i tried to modify myself.. to make it not look so similar~~ but i never copied my friends work *unless for homework >o< hahahahahaha* i know how hard it is to make something creative and how painful it is when someone stole your idea.. so.. from where i copied?? usually from magz.. tv.. bed sheets.. stickers.. anything.. but it’s still considered as stealing idea??? that’s why i’m calling myself a plagiator..
other thing.. this blog.. i never had a thought before to write a blog.. but then i saw my friend’s at FS and that time.. i felt like to do it too.. and when other used wordpress.. so am I.. ok maybe i’m not a plagiator.. but just someone who was trapped in current trend =p in this case~~
if you ask someone to imitate me.. can he/she do it?? i’m not sure~~ coz like i said.. i’m just plain.. don’t have anything that became my mark or so.. and if i did say or do something unique.. trust me.. that came from someone else.. i just found it to be cute or funny and liked it and so i used it >.<
and coz i don’t have a hold of myself uptil now.. i think that’s one of the reason why i still cannot find what i actually want to do in my life ^^;
my father..
who always called himself..
the most handsome old man
the most funkiest old man
likes to play computer game whole day..
likes to practice his golf skill all day long..
really hard to wake up in the morning..
or to move out from in front of the computer..
hot-tempered.. lazy.. easily get angry..
for others.. they might not like him..
or want him as their father..
but for me.. he is the best father ever!!
he always cheer me up when i’m feeling down..
always makes jokes until i laughed hard..
always loved me and be there for me..
whenever i need him..
and that’s all i ask from him.. how could i ask more?
he is all i ever wanted from a father..
good or bad..
i wouldn’t want to trade him for anyone..
coz he is my father.. the one and only..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPAKU CHAYANK!!!
please take good care of your health..
don’t get to skinny.. you look ugly if you are skinny..
better keep chubby ^o^
and please.. be patient in your work..
everything will turn to be alright in the end ^o^
i love you pa.. ^o^
i really miss “ngelus-ngelus” your tummy hehehehe..
before i forgot~~
HAPPY EASTER 2009 everyone!!!!
for those who wants to know yorobun means.. it means everyone in korean =P but i don’t know how to write it in romanji.. the pronunciation is like that~~ hehehehehe but the writing can be different..
hmmm i think i’ve been in hiatus for almost two weeks?? yeah coz things kinda difficult now for me to write~~ well i meant in terms of my “house” condition now~~ staying with family consists of pairs with two babies -soon will be 3 ^^; also with one mother in law made things rather difficult =P
soon as i got home.. i had to play with “my babies”.. they kept nagging at me.. mmm not really actually.. but they will if i started to open aoi ^^; so better to play safe right?? hahahahaha..
but still.. love my babies anyway~~ still cute in some way.. and annoying in other way.. but that’s why we called them babies right???
and coz i felt sorry for neglecting my blog for quite a long time~~ i’ve tried to find my time ^o^ hehehehehe.. and seems i did it!! yippie!!! hehehehe..
when i ran through my old docs.. i found this pic..
yup i know it’s been a long time~~ hehehehe but when i saw this pic.. i felt nostalgic at one time ^^
i remembered before i had my graduation ceremony.. my batch made our farewell party in one of friend’s aunt house *thanks goes to wucen hehehe* and actually~~ for me.. the party didn’t left deep impression in my memory.. well of course i’m happy coz i can gathered with my classmates.. but it seemed everyone only mind their own business.. not really gather as one *maybe just my feeling*.. nevertheless.. still happy can meet my friends.. especially those special ones hehehehe ^o^
and there’s one part that i’m kinda regretting until now~~ it’s the part when we gathered together and shared our deepest thoughts about others and ourselves.. well during my part.. i don’t think i told them everything~~ partially coz i kinda unprepared.. partially coz i don’t think i want to tell them at that time.. but as i remembered it again.. yahhh it keeps bothering me.. why i didn’t tell them at that time??
and what is exactly i want to tell my friends???
first of all.. i want to say.. being part of 2004 are one of the best thing that happen to me.. of course there will be bad as well as good times.. but i never think of that as a negative things in my life.. i still like my batch and thankfully for that.. also.. many things happened during my 4 years.. things that made me who i am now.. made me stronger and weaker at the same time.. for 4 years.. i had bestfriends who turned to be friends only.. just friends that turned to be close friends.. i lost some.. but on the other hand.. i also got others.. thanks for that~~
and for those who thinks i’m taking my friends for granted~~ well.. when they said like that to me.. actually.. even though i acted cool and calm.. i’m really hurt!! never once i had a thought like that.. and there.. some people who think of me that way~~ what could i say??? and what happen next is~~ ya you know lha~~ hahahaha.. i’m very sad and regreted.. those who i thought to be my friends.. turned out to be just friends.. barely even know me..
what surprising me.. those who i never thought would knew me.. indeed they knew me!! i’m glad they did ^o^
well.. for my dear friends.. i know i have bad habit of talking without thinking first.. just blurted out every single thought that occur in my mind.. not think that maybe my comment will hurt others feeling.. and i’m really really sorry for that~~ i’m trying to be more considerate toward others.. just sometimes i can’t helped it.. so PLEASE.. if i did hurt your feeling with my comments.. and if you are truly my friends.. PLEASE LET ME KNOW!! you can tell me.. in soft or hard way~~ i will accept it anyway.. better for me to know soon.. rather than to know late when your anger or hatred or whatever it is.. piled up.. it sucks!!
it’s better.. wayyyy muchhh betttteeerrrr to have someone yelled at you for your mistakes.. angry.. have some arguments.. but after that.. everyone cool down.. smile to each other.. eat together.. and then everything turns to be the way they were..
really sucks when someone only smiled at you.. told you everything was just fine.. but hid their anger towards you.. let it be piled up.. until they can’t stand it anymore and got exploded~~ and the next thing you know.. you never know what to call them again.. not a friend nor a stranger.. just someone.. really hate that~~
i’ve been repeating this matter over and over again coz this thing had occupied my mind for quite a long time~~ and for some reasons.. i just can’t get over it T.T
more to say.. hmmmm i’m really grateful that during my last year.. although i lost.. but i found some mates that seems to know me quite well ^o^ really really glad for that.. and i think.. the best part during my college time was when i did my assisstantship in DNA Technology lab.. together with *especially* icha, edith, dwi, wucen, tika, gludhug n denny ^o^ for some people.. being DNA assisstant was tiring and yes it was.. but on the contrary.. i found my mates here.. and enjoyed every moment i spent with them.. from sunrise till sunset.. from wendys to tampomas hahahhaha.. yah miss that a lot~~
so.. ya as i said before.. my life was up and down for 4 years.. lost some friends but got new friends.. and for that.. i’m really grateful.. just want to let u know girls.. i’m really treasured you all *i meant ALL.. so you too jo,bul,cas,chip,tan,p,nes,li* .. maybe i don’t show it much.. maybe never show it too ^^; but hopefully you will understand~~ that’s just how i interact with my loved ones ^o^ yeah yeah.. need to fix that =P
come to think about this post~~ what would they say if they hear me talking about this matter??? hehehehe.. hmmm now i’m curious~~ *evil smirk* hihihihihihihi..
You are an all around good person. You have leadership qualities, and are very well organized in your daily lifestyle. You have a few close friends, and lots of acquaintances, and have had a lot of success in school. Similarly to a trigonometry outcome, people see you as being a very different person that they haven’t come across with, but make sure you use your uniqueness in a positive way, and be able to be a little flexible, because you are very easy to like once someone gets to know you, but you could also be very intimidating and drive people away..
this is a result from one of the weird quizzes that provided in the facebook =P the title is “What Level of Mathematics are you?” hmmmmm… see any connection between the quiz and the result??? hahahahaha *.*
anyway~~ when I read the result.. somehow.. it felt right and kinda hit me #.#
what do you think??? is it true????
one think i know.. no.. i’m sure it’s true!! is the part that said “you are very easy to like once someone gets to know you, but you could also be very intimidating and drive people away” =P
get my point???
The best is yet to come.. What all you need to do is just BELIEVE!!!
and so here I am.. patiently waiting for something.. something like miracle to be happen in my life.. coz right now~~ i think i need that miracle.. a lot!!! and I believe~~ well at least.. I try to believe!! that the miracle will happen soon ^o^
but.. I always have this kind of opinion about miracle.. for me.. miracle is about something that happen at the right moment, right place and becoz of right decision~~ it takes both hardwork and right decision to make miracle..
hmmm~~ but now I hope.. a real miracle will happen without me have to do all the works =P hahahahaha.. kinda lazy me.. coz actually~~ I still haven’t found out what I want to do.. what I’m supposed to do.. what I have to do.. and what I can do..
so.. hopefully.. God kindly give me a miracle to show me the way ^o^
I didn’t ask much right????
………………………………………………………………
while crossing my finger and keep believing.. i’m in a real BORED STATE!!! what should I do????
