all about PREFERENCES..

“Kamu uda 23.. tapi di mata papa kamu mah masi 2 taon terus.. papa paling inget pas kamu rambut dikuncir-kuncir kecil terus minta digendong-gendong.. hopla hopla~~”

“Mama paling inget pas dede masi 6 ato 7 taon.. kalo dy mo ngomong sama mama.. slalu duduk di sofa sebelah mama terus ngomong ‘Soalnya begini lho ma..’ hahaha dan pas yang kalian berdua berantem.. terus dede tulis surat buat mama dan di dalemnya ada duit 100..”

After I came back from Singapore.. I talked a lot with my parents.. especially during dinner time ^^ and mostly we were talking about the past.. and future plan.. sometimes.. but what I noticed just recently.. errr not recently actually.. I’ve known this since.. well.. since I could think??

Even though my parents love their children equally.. or so they think.. but as human.. we will have our own preferences and that is something I realized myself.. coz I have my own too..

in this case.. well.. you could tell yourself rite?

I’m not saying it’s bad to have preferences.. no matter how hard you try to be fair.. there will always be thing called preference.. it’s just nature..

you could like a lot type of dishes but you will pick your favourite first

you could have a lot of best friends but one particular person will always be the first to know your news..

you could love both of your parents but you have one of them that is more closed to you..

so.. is it something we need to get rid of? hmmm..

for all I care.. I don’t have any problem with preferences.. we could never be fair as long we are still human.. coz human tends to involve a lot of emotions that will cloud them from being fair..

but that’s what makes life interesting rite?

you met a lot of people.. getting to know them.. and in the end.. let your heart choose for you..

sure there will be some who wouldn’t like or even get mad by our preferences.. but hey!! we can never make everyone happy rite??

as long we have the good intention and try not to hurt others.. I don’t see why we can’t have our preference ^^

it’s like telling I like Super Junior but I love Donghae of all~~ does it mean I hate Super Junior?

…………………………

OK it’s late and I know I start to make nonsense.. better stop then ^^ hehehehehehe..

just want to write down something without having the real point of what I’m writing =P ahahahaha..

Tadaima \(^o^)/

“Aku pulang!!“

yup.. that’s what I said through short message texts which I had sent to my dear friends in Jakarta~~ and the responses?? well.. can I say.. you guys miss me a lot?? ^^ hahahahahahahahahaha *narcisstic mode:ON*

well.. actually I didn’t tell a lot directly about my homecoming or whatever you named it~~ what I did was just let some friends knew that I already came home and let the news spread (or not ^^;).. and most important thing.. update the Facebook’s status ^^

pathetic?? I know~~

just like everyone else.. can’t get out of this Facebook hell.. already fall to deep and no intention to escape either.. so.. yeah.. just accept it ^^; ahahahahaha..

and when I came home.. a lot of people were asking me this question..

“Do you miss Singapore??”

honestly~~ I don’t! =P

but if you asked more specific like..

“Do you miss lived in Singapore??”

well.. yes!! I do!!

I’m not fond of Singapore but I have to admit.. I do like living in Singapore for some reasons~~ like I have mentioned before..

back in Jakarta.. I met with traffic jam.. smoking and spitting everywhere.. stupid biker all around.. noisy unsafe public transport.. hell yeah~~ I’m SO MISS living in Singapore..

but.. I also finally be able to catch up with my family.. my friends.. ate “gorengan”.. nasi uduk.. steak.. my mom’s cook.. enjoying every minute without having a feeling of rush.. just~~ enjoy my life.. and that’s all I need~~

so.. do I want to go back to Singapore?

if I get paid more than $3000 a month.. I will consider it ^^ hahahahahahahaha~~

since no one will goin to pay me that amount of money for now~~ so I’ll just stick around in Jakarta for some time ^^ enjoying my late holiday~~ hehehehehehe..

and by the end of this month.. I need to make new plan >.<

InSomnia~~

I care a lot.. I do care a lot.. but~~ why I still have this suffocating feelings??

it past midnite now..

and still.. like the previous days..

I can’t sleep.. no.. it’s not that I can’t.. I don’t want to..

yeah.. I don’t want to..

somehow.. I’m scared..

scared of what? I don’t know for sure myself..

I don’t know the reasons.. or maybe I do.. but I just don’t want to acknowledge..

feels suffocated.. empty..

so many things I want to talk about.. to tell..

but the words only stayed on my lips..

even worse..

the words that slipped out from my mouth.. were words full of nothing but craps and lies..

I can’t help it..

I lost it..

don’t know when this was started.. but..

I can’t tell like I used to..

how I wish.. want.. to be like I used to be..

still.. everytime I tried..

it’s not relieved that got me..

anger.. furious.. irkness..

that’s what got me..

and I hate it.. I hate myself for harboring those feelings..

want to stop it.. how?

Soon.. and I’ll be HOME~~

four more days..

and I will leave this country..

for good??

don’t know..

but if I can make a plan for my future..

I don’t see this country include in my future plan.. but..

plan always stays as a plan..

maybe.. Fate has it own choice for me..

and becoz I will never understood Fate nor Destiny..

I’ll just stay with my plan.. and hoping.. Fate will be in my favor to gain my Destiny

and what is lies as my Destiny?

no one could tell..

only Time has the answer~~

*random talk at 2am just becoz I had insomnia >.<*